一个也不能少

sometimes d present can b very cruel, asking a closed question like inviting having lunch or dinner together, a simple invitation, can be interpreted as something surprised, shocking, terkejut n another question is posted back "y so sudden?"

either a yes or no question can be dipersoalkan balik. an invitation without anything else can be dipersoalkan, dipertikaikan on my niat/intention, s if i ll put poison on d food or anything, i dunno.

so now, every1 cooked their lunch, i m waiting for kitchen to b empty, or else anything ll b dipertikaikan again.

ppl r very weird. sometimes, when my pot is not used n is borrowed by a housemate without permission, another housemate mempertikai, y u letting ur pot being used without ur permission, like no respect on me like tat. I m d owner of d pot, ikut suka sayalah. I x keluar bunyi, ppl around me keluar bunyi. I m not using d pot anyway, any1 is free to use, alto it is mine. Y i wanna cari pasal n ask ppl not to use my pot when i really not using tat time, n inhibit other from benefiting from it.

mayb tat's d weakness tat i possess s ppl claimed tat, oh u r too lenient, u forgive others too easily, tat's y ppl lack respect of u. i dunno, a moral virtue tat is tot by almost all religions in d world is now seem like a weakness. ur forgiveness is too easily given, tat's y it dont cost much, very cheap, CHEAP, n ppl tend to pijak on ur kepala.

ok, ppl pijak on my kepala, ppl dont respect me. tat's other ppl's fault/sin. y i should worry on it.

anyway, i ll still say thx for d comment. wat ppl say is correct in this realistic world, bt it will never make me goyah.

Almost all religions is intention-based. What u think or plan is far more important than d outcome. If u plan for goodness for all, d outcome will not deviate much, alto thing may go wrong, bt it will not deviate much.

Yes, I was borned with learning difficulty, being hyperactive, tat's y ppl keep asking, u stay d whole day at ur room, u dont study meh? I have d difficulty, since i m borned, got ppl care about it? That's y my hand shivel at times, where only true, sincere friend notice it.

Making no study progress make me really feel bad, demotivated.

At least God gives compensation on me, i m a relative good note-taker. At least my notes r being appreciated by quite some fans. I feel motivated back. I dont mind borrowing without any return or exchange. Sometimes, when exchanging of notes, ppl shoot me of having a empty notes, yes, i may lose concentration too, alto it is very low occurence, bt at times, d note-exchanger himself have also empty notes at times too, bt i nvr shoot back bcaz i know i m nowhere better. Thx for ppl who is willing to exchange note with me, regardless d one scold others or d one who sincerely help me. I m sry if in d end, d net is other giving to me, thank u, then ur merit of sharing ur net notes doesnt diminish ur word or knowledge on u, but berlimpah berkat u ll have.

I dont mind end up borrowing end up as exchange, i dont mind, kasi marah, maki hamun also ok la, very hurtful, bt........ Bt wat is worst is tat some ppl can have d privileges of borrowing stacks of stacks without question asked, no condition. i have to fulfill a whole lot of condition, n it is only applicable for me.

ppl say, ppl is afraid of this person, so no condition need to b fulfilled. feel paiseh to reject ma. okla, dont feel paiseh to reject me is alrite, i m happy in return, this means tat i m easily persuaded/easily negotiated, bcaz i understand every1 need their note.

i dont mind d condition already, s long s d conditions applicable for every1 borrowing d notes, bt it is only applicable to me. gaining of knowledge, or sharing, like wat d note-exchanger say, is possible for me, in conditions.

So, i have maki hamun phobia. I no longer dare to borrow notes out or have a long delay. it really stay in me. D pain who knows? God knows. D ppl who maki hamun other wont remember d maki hamun, bt only d victim will remember d exact word, d exact feeling for life.

I m asked not to read ppl's blog dy, in hope ppl's blog wont bcome my blog, bcaz all d berita will be about me, jz in a negative way. ppl say my reputation will drop, bcaz d reader only read d bias part of d story, by one person. But i m glad tat Bathonians knows d fact, n d most importantly, God knows d truth of any blog. Typing a lying blog is still a lie. Like Conan said, there is only one truth, only one.

Back to 想当年, I enjoy my Spain trip, but during d time, my happinees is due to my sleeping n dreaming of d UCSI times. 想当年 is really wrong. It is only 2 years ago things, it is not 30 years ago, tat i m having white hair n saying 想当年. But too bad tat ppl change too drastically. I wanna understand every1 bt i cant catch up. I do ask 2nd opinion to understand others, bt d 2nd opinion also dunno. in d end, others scold me for not understand them well enuff. Ppl keep demanding me to understand, i done my best, kena blame.

d complexity in bath is tat u give ur best, still kena maki hamun, ppl find ur small little minor thing n magnify it. Bt when others tat he dont dare to touch or dont dare to make anger on, d major thing is quickly forgiven. U r scolded not bcaz u dont take effort, bt bcz u have flaws as a human.

I keep dream n sleep where I m being treated equally, i can visit all guys room every1, room by room(alto being labelled too free). When have huge workload, I do a 2 min one by d door, at least, everyday. Can i do tat to my 7, Herbert housemate? Can i lie on d bed without scolded mengotorkan katil, jz like in UCSI? God knows.

I m envious of 66, West Ave, to have a living room, i know i sound stupid. But tat a good place to social instead of every1 staying in a big room. I dont feel d closeness of a 2nd family.

U may say i m anak manja,ya, so? I hope tat me n my 3 brothers can support each other, alto i know my support maybe useless to them.

Last year, at least i dare to call them big bro, 2nd bro, 3rd bro, now, not even berani.

I hope tat if there is any brothers who have any issue on me, can really speak out, wanna maki hamun anything tat dont like about me, i can open a 5 hours non-stop maki hamun session, to solve anything, to stop all sengketa lama, if tat can help my brother to forget about d past then 5 hours is a worth investment. I wanna offer this, bt in d end, ppl tend to tangguh problem in hope time will dilute, but it happens too slowly.

I m d person who will sit on meja bulat, meja rundingan. anything wrong then speak out. dont pendam2, dont sembunyi2.

I dare to sit n talk with some of my brothers bed n talk for hours, bt if i wanna do tat individually, i ll do tat to all, tat's my vision for 2011, hope God will listen to my prayer. Every1 bcome d adorable, cute friends tat i know.

I still rmb i can go to a friend room, opening his stationary drawer open close open close till he get annoyed n he cough a bit or say "Wheiiiii" bt in a friendly, smiley.

In ucsi, there is not much camera, bt d memory stays kukuh in my mind. I m proud to say tat all 3 brothers been to my Kangar b4, know my house situation, it is 2/3 stays in my house, n i nvr invite any1 else, not even my 2ndary friend to stay my old, rapuh house.

I sincerely hope my brother can cope well with his present condition, i dunno whether it get worsen or better, jz hope he get well, regardless with help of pharmacology onot, n there is not always one med to treat a condition, hope to help when it comes to CNS unit. Wat benefit do i get if any1 of my brothers is not feeling well? I myself is having cold n fever.hehe

Looking forward to a time where I can lie on any1's bed for 30 mins individually, everyday, to all my brother. 一个也不能少. Hope can open close open close a friend's stationary drawer, swearing to God, no intention of invading privacy, jz wanna annoy ppl around...haha

Pray hard. this is not stg new. haha