believe

He no longer wanna speak with me. I dunno wat went wrong. Even not s friend, at least as a jiran.

Really cant conc on my studies nowadays.

Indeed, I do realise my own mistakes, my own dosa after locking myself in d room. I really hope to tebus, if only there is opportunity. I cant do much, i ll do watever wat I can. It is all about 2 way thing. i cant just tepuk sebelah tangan.

anyway, if this is the test, i ll take it. I believe tat if i m sincere enuff, no kepentingan peribadi, n if god knows i deserve it, maybe a good friend whom I know for 3 years, a friend who helped me a lot in my a level time, a smile tat I will never forget, suka n duka. Of coz, life goes on for him, w/o me, but is it a waste to have such a long struggle to end tat way? I feel wasted.

One lesson i learn: I do admit tat human tend to remember d bad thing tat happen to them n forget d good side of ppl. at least thru my locking myself in d room, i start to c a good point of ppl.... no1 is borned a devil n no1 deserved to b dipandang hina jz bcaz of some of his condition.

I know i go against d majority, to defend a minority, to stand with wat i believe. it makes me rugi, i know. bcaz i dont think i gain loss from both sides in d end, bt thx for a friend who convince me of ULTIMATE FAIRNESS. i do regret not being a pak turut, a "yes sir", maybe i wont suffer like this, but i know i defended a minority, which no1 cares much. Alto not being appreciated in d end(I do it not to get appreciation anyway, if i want to get appreciation, y i cant do it in front of ppl who award d appreciation in 1st place?), if time goez back again, i ll definitely do d same, bcaz i know i do d right thing.

wateve future holds, being ignored further, he ll still be my friend, regardless wat others say.